Self-esteem, that is, the tendency to like oneself Essays

Self-esteem, that is, the tendency to like oneself and find confidence in ones own traits and abilities, is enjoyed far too rarely among women and girls in the United States. This lack of self-esteem is an epidemic problem. It often pains me to consider the consequences that have been suffered as a result of this social problem. Most men, and many women, don't recognize this problem, and worst of all, many who do recognize it fail to see it as a problem at all. But in my view this plague of self-loathing has profoundly and negatively affected some of my favorite things in life, things we all value. Sex, the arts, politics, philosophy, comedy, science and technology have all been crippled by a lack of self-confident women as participants. Did I mention sex? I mention it specifically not only because it is so important to me, but because it may also be a major factor in this whole equation. I suspect that sex with fully self-actualized, confident woman might be the best sex any man ever had. Sadly, many of us will never know. We are too stupid to find out because we actually think the opposite is true. More on that in a minute. Girls don't like themselves. This is the first problem in the self-esteem equation. The second problem is that girls lack confidence. But the whole problem really begins with little girls not liking themselves. Somehow, and the reasons for this are very much open to speculation, our little girls grow up learning that there is something inherently wrong with them. They learn from their fathers, or from their mothers, or from television, or magazines, or any number of other sources, that being a girl is not as interesting or important as being a boy. Little girls seem to learn this whether it is taught to them specifically or not. They seem to learn and believe this regardless of race, ethnicity, or income level. This notion is so pervasive in our culture that girls seem to learn that they are somehow inferior, or less valued than their brothers, or boyfriends, even when measures are taken to avoid exposing them to the idea, or when they are specifically taught otherwise. Any problem that is more pervasive an d persuasive than the influence of ones parents should be considered a serious problem indeed. I fear that it has become cliche, among people who know me, for me to take a cheap shot at Christianity now and then. But a whole bunch of my readers are, right now, probably thinking the same thing I am. So, given the importance of this topic, I hope that no one will consider my next statement to be a cheap shot of any kind. Some of my best friends are Christians. But, this paragraph can not pass without mention of the fact that, according to the Bible, the Old Testament in particular, there is something inherently wrong with women (lets call it say, "original sin") and women are inferior to men. I am not blaming anyone, I am just mentioning it. My readers can draw their own conclusions about whether the Bible is to blame for our problems, or whether it is just another victim of the same prejudice that pre-dates religion itself. Now for all of you apologists out there, save it. I am fully aware that because we are talking about the Old Testament, the same ideas are perpetuated, perhaps even to a greater degree by the Koran and the Torah. But for my money the Old Testament, particularly the protestant flavor of the Old Testament has had much more influence on American culture. Besides, I like Muslims and Jews better than I like Christians. We all have our prejudices. I like Christians better than I like Eskimos. Don't get me started on those people. Anyway, little girls hate themselves. It is tragic, because what happens next affects us all. Little girls grow into young women who lack confidence in their own ability to contribute to the world around them. Young women who lack confidence become people-pleasers. People-pleasing young women become victims, feeding the appetites of the worst elements of humanity, and robbing us